Could it be that I do is the longest sentence? George Carlin, If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isnt the whole airplane made out of that stuff? It sounds like this: What, they have bigger dicks? Well what if I don't want to? Weve also included some of his sketches from YouTube, viral videos of jokes you might have heard once or twice before. If you vote, and you elect dishonest, incompetent politicians, and they get into office and screw everything up, you are responsible for what they have done. They dont want to hear from you. The cookies contains information that allows Prebid servers to distinguish between browsers and mobile devices. ", 2. ""I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. Enter your email address below then click "FOLLOW" to receive email notifications of new posts. "I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loath and despise the groups they identify or belong to. This information is used to pick out ads delivered by the platform and assess the ad performance and its attribute payment. "Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. Carlin also said conservatives claim theyll do anything for the unborn. This cookie is set by the provider Akamai Bot Manager. If he wants to just lecture with his opinions then he gets lectured back with other peoples opinions. When you see the documentary, you'll see this, but the evolution of Carlin wasn't just . "I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately. Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers. "The reason they call it the American Dream is because you have to be asleep to believe it. Good honest hard-working people continue these are the people of modest means Continue to elect these rich cocksuckers who dont give a fuck about you. Enter your email address to follow Motley News. American - Comedian May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008. "What if there were no hypothetical questions? The late George Carlin was a genius with words, a deft dasher of conventional logic, and a master observer (and master-baiter!) At all. They own you. After that, they dont want to know about you. Petras said shes glad the industry is finally catching on to her talent. Good honest hard-working people white collar, blue collar, it doesnt matter what color shirt you have on. "I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. I don't always agree with everything he says, but I always listen Given the nature of our current Administration, I thought it timely to revisit what George said years ago (Back In Town HBO Special, 1996 . This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. "I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. AWSALB is an application load balancer cookie set by Amazon Web Services to map the session to the target. George Carlin: Life Is Worth Losing George Carlin told us about the Corona panic years ago Ryan Davis 3.5M views 2 years ago Joe Rogan | George Carlin's Lost 9/11 Special JRE Clips 2.6M. the fact that Americans will probably remain willfully ignorant of the big, red, white, and blue dick thats being jammed up their assholes every day., This video is completely devastating for Trump. StackAdapt sets this cookie as a Random Identifier for user identification, to display relevant advertisements. This cookie is used for DNS Prefetch and HTTP2 Push. They own everything. The rights and the rights of property. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. You have owners. Used to help protect the website against Cross-Site Request Forgery attacks. Theyre all in favor of the unborn. Men are insecure about the size of their dicks, and so they have to kill one another over the idea. Casale Media sets this cookie to collect information on user behavior, for targeted advertising. You know what they want? Answer (1 of 12): He was a liberal. "If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? This cookie is used by PwC to track individual visitors and their use of site. It gloriously backfired, Dictionary.com just added several new LGBTQ+ words & also grundle, Love, drugs & the club: As a gay man, life looks different with a new disability, Kim Petras says the road to fame while trans was twice as long, School bans parents as a threat to kids over LGBTQ-affirming posts, Sam Smith is trending on Twitter and the discourse is truly Unholy. This cookie expires after 30 minutes but the timer is reset if the visitor visits a new page on the site before the cookie expires. This cookie is used for implementing audio files on the website. God has a three-day weekend. You should die first; get it out of the way. If they say, Were the So-and-Sos, take a walk. He also suggests that politicians are merely the puppets bringing big businesses plans and ideas to fruition. And if somehow, you must join, if its unavoidable, such as a union or a trade association, go ahead and join. I don't like cats. Which doesn't make any sense at all. ", 31. They own all the important land. "Men are from. Its because volunteers work for no pay. To avoid conflicts, each partner's ID is stored using separate cookies, which are merged to the ljtrtb cookie when it is available. The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, "You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.". Everybody says they suck. ""This country was founded by a group of slave owners who wanted to be. This cookie is used for embedding The Guardian video player. - Arthur Baer. ", 111. Theres a nice campaign slogan for somebody: The Public Sucks. "I have lots of ideas. ", 56. Let's start with critical race theory. Facebook sets this cookie to show relevant advertisements to users by tracking user behaviour across the web, on sites that have Facebook pixel or Facebook social plugin. Change), You are commenting using your Twitter account. They dont want well informed, well educated people capable of critical thinking. RLCDN sets this cookie to provide users with relevant advertisements and limit the number of ads displayed. To me, war is a lot of prick-waving! "I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? The game is rigged. They dont give a fuck about you. ", 29. ", 108. These cookies track visitors across websites and collect information to provide customized ads. Contents 1 Quotes 1.1 FM & AM (1972) "People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point. From his infamous take on censorship with his NSFW "Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television" (which landed in the Supreme Court) to his nuanced rants on partisan politics and consumerism, Carlin not only made audiences laugh, but he challenged them to think independently and criticallyalbeit not entirely deliberately. Others see it half empty. "I bet you anything that 10 times out of 10, Nicky, Vinny and Tony will beat the s**t out of Todd, Kyle and Tucker. They own and control the corporations. It's what our system produces: Garbage in, garbage out. The fact that Americans will probably remain willfully ignorant of the big red, white, and blue dick thats being jammed up their assholes every day, because the owners of this country know the truth: Its call the Amercian Dream because you have to be asleep to believe it., RIP George Carlin. Installed by Google Analytics, _gid cookie stores information on how visitors use a website, while also creating an analytics report of the website's performance. "Life is not measured by the number of breath we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. This cookie is set by Akamai. But He loves you. ", 43. Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. 01. RT @JamesMelville: "They own everythingThey don't care about youThey got you by the balls." ~ George Carlin He absolutely nailed it. ", 87. ", 51. Its called dick fear! Men are terrified that their pricks are inadequate and so they have to compete with one another, to feel better about themselves, and since war is the ultimate competition, basically, men are killing each other in order to improve their self-esteem! Yeah, the public sucks. ""This is a little prayer dedicated to the separation of church and state. It enables the embedding of Mix Cloud audio player. Ice Cube also recently voiced concerns that neither political party would actually be able to make a positive change for the betterment of Black Americansand that's reportedly the rapper's whole reasoning for working with the White House on the Platinum Plan, which aims to develop Black businesses and communities. By the way, its the same big club they use to beat you over the head with all day long when they tell you what to believe. George Carlin Quotes - BrainyQuote. Related: When it comes to mass shootings, the problem isnt Republicans or the NRA. I just dont have as many people who believe it. George Carlin, Now, theres one thing you might have noticed I dont complain about: politicians. They own and control the corporations. They should be more vivid. Well, we know what they want. ""George Washington's brother, Lawrence, was the Uncle of Our Country. They dont want well informed, well educated people capable of critical thinking. AddThis sets this cookie to enable the visitors to share the web pages on social platforms via sharing buttons on the website. The demdex cookie, set under the domain demdex.net, is used by Adobe Audience Manager to help identify a unique visitor across domains. ", 20. So we are going to have to do lots of things different as a Black community," Ice Cube said in a video shared on Twitter on October 11. 2010 The Thought & Expression Company, LLC. "It helps to remember this.. Weve added years to life, not life to years. This helps to distinguish between new, returning, and loyal visitors. No neonatal care, no daycare, no head start, no school lunch, no food stamps, no welfare, no nothing. This cookie, set by DataXu, tracks the advertisement report which helps to improve the marketing activity. Laugh until you gasp for breath. They don't pass through a membrane from another reality. George Carlin's acerbic wit and profound societal insights were a one time cultural phenomenon. The JSESSIONID cookie is used by New Relic to store a session identifier so that New Relic can monitor session counts for an application. This Cookie is used by Yahoo to anonymously store data related to user's visits, such as the number of visits, average time spent on the website and what pages have been loaded. Photo: Matthias Clamer (modified by author) Source: Getty Images One-liner jokes. "I put a dollar in a change machine. "Some people see things that are and ask, 'Why?' You have no choice. Everybodys going to save something now. "He and if there is a God, I am convinced he is a he, because no woman could or would ever f**k things up this badly. "Bulls**t is truly the American soundtrack. ", 4. If you're preborn, you're fine; if you're preschool, you're f**ked. ", 22. "Boy, these conservatives are really something, arent they? Thats what all that asshole jock bullshit is all about. You think your current financial. Because he was a genius, and here are 11 quotes that prove it: 1. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. George Carlin, Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. George Carlin, Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. George Carlin, Men are from Earth; women are from Earth. [] I look at war a little bit differently. These George Carlin funny quotes on religion, government, and stupid people will make you laugh as well as think about things deeply. ", 84. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. Hatred/ bias against opposition: Have you noticed that nearly every time, Mr. Trump is questioned, or feels accused, etc, he replies by bringing up his less - than - popular former political opponent, Hillary Clinton, and repeats claims which have been refuted and disputed, numerous times, but his core followers, continue to accept? Obedience, respect for authority. MediaMath sets this cookie to avoid the same ads from being shown repeatedly and for relevant advertising. The politicians are put there to give you the idea you have freedom of choice. "Careful, if you think too much, theyll take you away. If you can't beat someone, arrange to have beaten him. ", 7. Everything He ever makesdies. George Carlin, The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. ", 86. ", 33. "'Bipartisan' usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out. I'm your huckleberry. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Performance". "I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. They are irrelevant. This cookie is set by the BlueConic. "I don't have pet peeves. January graduated with an English and Literature degree from Columbia University. The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. "When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. These days, 'Trajedi. This cookie is used to detect and defend when a client attempt to replay a cookie.This cookie manages the interaction with online bots and takes the appropriate actions. "Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesnt mean that the circus has left town. JIM STAFFORD. This gif says it all: Carlins performance is being passed around on social media after a leaked draft opinion from the Supreme Court indicates that Roe v. Wade may soon be overturned, paving the way for abortion to be outlawed in parts of the nation. No nothing. "There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls. The people are f**ked. LinkedIn sets the lidc cookie to facilitate data center selection. Politicians don't care about you. Known for his lack of patience for bullshit, the comedian regularly skewered all politicians, the election of Donald Trump as president. "You show me a lazy p***k who's lying in bed all day, watching TV, only occasionally getting up to p**s, and I'll show you a guy who's not causing any trouble. He died from heart failure in 2008, survived by his second wife Sally Wade, and his daughter, Kelly. ", 23. An old clip of George Carlin is gaining new life after this weeks reports from the Supreme Court on abortion. Everyone Practices Cancel Culture | Opinion, Deplatforming Free Speech is Dangerous | Opinion. OK? Determines whether the visitor has accepted the cookie consent box. Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. Then they would drink a lot of coffee.' The sp_t cookie is set by Spotify to implement audio content from Spotify on the website and also registers information on user interaction related to the audio content. ", George Carlin's acerbic wit and profound societal insights were a one time cultural phenomenon. ", 21. - Doc Holliday. I think I need to show them that I have brought myself to a cleverer, smarter spot than they have.". After that, they don't want to know about you. It seems only right. Carlin did this better than anyone else. Believe me, my friend. ", 57. "The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. Juno3127 10 years ago You couldn't be more wrong. Then you're just what they're looking for. I don't trust none of them. The cookie is set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin and is used to store whether or not user has consented to the use of cookies. Yeah, the public sucks. "Isnt it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do 'practice? The Romantic Comedy You Should Watch This Valentines Day, Based On Your ZodiacSign, Valentines Day Streaming Guide: The Best Rom-Coms To Binge On Netflix, HBO Max, AndMore, How Narcissists Use Dog Whistling To Covertly Abuse You: Signs Of This Dangerous ManipulationMethod, 11 Christmas Movies To Watch If Youre Dealing With Heartbreak Over TheHolidays. This cookie, set by YouTube, registers a unique ID to store data on what videos from YouTube the user has seen. "Would a fly without wings be called a walk? This ensures that the cookie consent box will not be presented again upon re-entry. AddThis sets this geolocation cookie to help understand the location of users who share the information. This cookie is used for preventing the installation of third party advertiser or other cookies on the browser. Enjoy! George Carlin : Designed to scare and control primitive people. I mean, life is tough. This cookie is set by Facebook to display advertisements when either on Facebook or on a digital platform powered by Facebook advertising, after visiting the website. Theyre not interested in that. They own everything.. New evidence may suggest they don't and many voters are skeptical, too. "People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think. ""These days many politicians are demanding change. "Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did. Known for his lack of patience for bullshit, the comedian regularly skewered all politicians, the election of Donald Trump as president would have particularly peeved him. When a . Lijit Advertising Platform sets this cookie temporarily, when multiple partners pass their IDs to the platform simultaneously. "Electricity is really just organized lightning. And nobody seems to notice. He is famous for being named the 'The Dean of Counterculture Comedians.' His dark humor penetrates different issues of life, religion, language, and class. "Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life. NID cookie, set by Google, is used for advertising purposes; to limit the number of times the user sees an ad, to mute unwanted ads, and to measure the effectiveness of ads. Carlins truth-telling about the influence of corporations in America and the willful blindness that allowed someone like Trump to assume power. You don't. ""Think about how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of 'em are stupider than that. (LogOut/ Used by Zoominfo to enhance customer data. 'Tom, I'd like you to meet the girl of my dreams, Tragedy.' With his daring satirical jokes, his words will make you laugh and make you think profoundly about everything you experience. This cookie is native to PHP applications. ", 113. Could it be that 'I do' is the longest sentence? So they killed a lot of white English people in order to continue owning their black African people, so they could wipe out the rest of the red Indian people, in order to move west and steal the rest of the land from the brown Mexican people, giving them a place to take off and drop their nuclear weapons on the yellow Japanese people. "You don't know anything about pain until you've seen your own baby . "I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. 125 George Carlin Quotes 1. ", 90. Our country is failing because the majority of the people are selfish. Elect me. Put the blame where it belongs: on the people. Take George Carlin, for example. ", 47. The first one is: 'Never believe ANYthing the government says.' George Carlin Believe, Government, Rules To Live By 48 Copy quote Tell people an invisible man in the sky created all things, they believe you. "I think everyone should treat one another in a Christian manner. "Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. . This cookie is set by Segment to track visitor usage and events within the website. ", 28. Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window), Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window), Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window), Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window), Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window), Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window). "Isnt making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool? If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre going to get selfish, ignorant leaders. They own you. I think I was probably a cowboy in a past life. #AmericaWakeUp pic.twitter.com/vy2zz0j8DB, Mrs. Krassenstein (@HKrassenstein) July 26, 2020. Ice Cube may be engaging in a political kerfuffle with Democrats following the news of his latest partnership with President Donald Trump's administration for the "Platinum Plan," but the rapper and actor is keen on letting his fans and followers know that he is not necessarily banding together with the government, despite what the past week of headlines might suggest. "Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to f**k.", 71. ""Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, 'Why not?' When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. From Life Is Worth Losing. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Other. This is one of the greatest social and political commentaries of the modern era. But this week, his voice has brought to life a new anti-Trump video called America Wake Up, created by a. No neonatal care, no daycare, no head start, no school lunch, no food stamps, no welfare, no nothing. "That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it. "I think people shouldbe allowed to do what they want. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. The late comedian often times poked fun at religion, politics, and social justice. Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time. ""The owners of this country know the truth: It's called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it. This cookie is managed by Amazon Web Services and is used for load balancing. Ice Cube visits the "Sway in the Morning" show with Sway Calloway on Shade 45 at SiriusXM Studios on December 07, 2018, in New York City. At all. Honestly, I'd lean towards anarchist. On June 24, 2022, the U.S. Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade and ended a women's constitutional right to an abortion in the country. 234. "I'm happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in. George Carlin's 'Wake Up America' bit went viral in July 2020. What do you get at the end of it? 2. The cookie is set by GDPR cookie consent to record the user consent for the cookies in the category "Functional". ""Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. "By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth. If youre offended by foul language dont watch this f**king video. Pattern Integrity Films set the bit to photos and video clips from modern-day America and the result is devastating. You have owners. Term limits aint going to do any good; youre just going to end up with a brand new bunch of selfish, ignorant Americans. Save the planet; we dont even know how to take care of ourselves yet. "It's called the American dream . "Everybody's been mad at me, cause I haven't been on the f**king, y'know, the gravy train of these candidates, especially Joe Biden and Harris. That would be a nice realistic campaign slogan for somebody: The public sucks. "Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music. ", 40. The __qca cookie is associated with Quantcast. They come from American parents and American families, American homes, American schools, American churches, American businesses, and American universities, and they are elected by American citizens. ", 112. "How can [God] be perfect? I see a glass thats twice as big as it needs to be. George Carlin, How come when its us, its an abortion, and when its a chicken, its an omelette? George Carlin, Laugh often, long and loud. That doesnt help them. Everybody complains about politicians. Doesnt give a shit, which I admire in a person, and which would explain a lot of these bad results. George Carlin, Atheism is a non-prophet organization. George Carlin, I have as much authority as the Pope. ""The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post 'Thou shalt not steal,' 'Thou shalt not commit adultery,' and 'Thou shalt not lie' in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. Bing Ads sets this cookie to engage with a user that has previously visited the website. ", 25. ", 66. They don't want to hear from you. A group of slave owners who wanted to be free!
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